Article

Programming Language Decency Act

by Magnus Kempe

Senate passed at 3am the Programming Language Decency Act (PLDA) restricting the use of languages with "abort" operations and instructions for "byte sex" in their reference documents. Further, showing private parts to one's children will be a federal offense. This move is believed to target Ada, which turned into a "hot" language as it became a teen.

The PLDA requires all compilers and interpreters, no matter what language, to include extensive warning messages about program contents (e.g. use of "=" where "==" might on average fit the bill) in order to preserve equality for all immature programmers.

President Clinton applauded the bill, stating that this was an affirmative victory for egalitarian equalization. Later, as a symbol of his support, he broke a leg and declared "I would break both if that could bring luck and help bridge the language gap in the future".

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